My Vistage group gathered for our annual retreat recently—a time to step away from the day-to-day, connect deeply, and reflect on our lives as leaders and human beings. One of the most powerful exercises we did was the Lifeline Exercise.
The premise is simple: Plot out the highs and lows of your life on a timeline. Share your story—the narrative of your life. What emerged isn’t just a personal story—it’s a mirror into what truly matters, what shapes us, and how we grow.
The results were moving, insightful, and surprisingly aligned across the group. Here are nine takeaways we walked away with, and a few reflections that might spark something for you too:
⸻
1. People Matter Most
No surprise here—our highest highs almost always involved relationships: spouses, kids, parents, friends, and business partners. And some of our deepest lows came from losing them, whether through death, divorce, or distance. The message was loud and clear: people are the point.
⸻
2. We All Have Lows—But They Don’t Last
Every lifeline had dips—sometimes dramatic ones. Divorce. Bankruptcy. Business failure. Personal health crises. But here’s the remarkable thing: those lows were near universally short-lived. The dips were a “V” not a “U.” What followed was resilience, and often, a higher high. Rock bottom, it seems, is often a launching pad. The lesson is that while things might look bad at a certain point, the future will look better—usually faster than you’d expect. Hang in there.
⸻
3. Things Don’t Make the List
Nobody celebrated buying a car, hitting a revenue target, or even getting a raise. A first home might make the list. But beyond that? Material things didn’t move the needle. What we remembered were moments, not milestones. People, not paychecks.
⸻
4. Professional Pain Hurts Less Than Personal Pain
Losing a business stings, but compared to a divorce, the death of a loved one, or serious family challenges—it barely registered. It turns out that even in the business world, personal always outweighs professional.
⸻
5. A Stable Start Helps—but Isn’t Everything
Most of us reported calm, uneventful childhoods. That stability gave us a solid launchpad. But even those with tougher beginnings found ways to rise. The first ten years hardly registered for most. The teen years had angst, but improved significantly in our twenties. The lesson here for our kids is they are going to be just fine—even if their paths include a few bumps.
⸻
6. Intentional Choices Shape Our Lives
From marriage to career shifts, big moves to big risks, our lives were defined by the choices we made. Not everything was in our control, but when we acted with intention the results were often positive and led to growth, connection, and opportunity. The downstream effect of good choices allows us even more freedom to choose—especially later in life—where we have more resources to make even more choices.
⸻
7. Friends Rejuvenate Us
Adult friendships matter more than we admit. Several of us lost or rebooted friends and it made an impact. Reconnecting—with high school friends, college buddies, old coworkers—was universally rejuvenating. And don’t underestimate the power of a little adventure—Costa Rica, Chile, Australia, Papua New Guinea, and Canada made surprise appearances on several lifelines for residences abroad.
⸻
8. Community Connection as a Catalyst
Being part of something bigger than yourself—college, church, nonprofit work, or a peer group like Vistage creates connection, perspective, and momentum. Isolation fuels struggle. Connection fuels healing. The lesson is to join something. Being part of a community, was often the catalyst to rebounding from a low point in life.
⸻
9. No One Wanted a Different Story
Even the hardest parts of our lives had value in hindsight. They built resilience. Taught patience. Deepened compassion. Gave us a well of experience to draw from. No one wished for a different background. We just wished we had appreciated the lessons sooner.
⸻
So What’s Your Lifeline Look Like?
What were your highest highs? What moments changed the direction of your life—for better or worse? Who was with you during those times? What got you through the hard ones? What helped you rise again?
Plot it out. Reflect. Share it, even.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from being part of Vistage, it’s this: growth doesn’t happen in isolation. When you surround yourself with people committed to reflection, learning, and getting better—you rise faster, fall softer, and grow deeper.
What would your lifeline reveal?
__________________________
Here is the directions to the Lifeline Exercise.
Please prepare your lifeline as follows:
1. Using flip-chart paper (or large piece of paper), Draw an x-axis and a y-axis. On the x-axis, divide it into the decades of your life thus far. (i.e. 10, 20, 30, 40, 50) The y-axis is to plot amplitude–highs and lows.
2. For each decade, plot the highs and the lows, using amplitude to differentiate the really high or low events from the ‘average’ ones.
3. Chart business and personal highs and lows. Think of it as a narrative: what events shaped your life; what patterns are there?
4. Write notes on the chart at the real highs:
Who was with you?
What work were you doing?
How did you feel?
5. Do the same at the lows:
What inner strength got you through?
What resources did you use?
What helped? What did not?
6. What are your formational beliefs?
7. What do you leave behind?
8. What do you take with you?
9. What theme(s) run through your life?
10. What road(s) are you on now?