This is the day I received a title I never thought I’d have: Full-Time Single Dad.
Sure, I had been separated for several years and my two boys, 14 and 12, had bounced from Mom’s place to Dad’s on a rotating schedule. But this day was different. On this day, their mom moved 2,500 miles away.
I had one week to plan.
Gone were free weekends, trade-offs for business trips, and alone time. My boys became my main focus.
Tough situations were nothing new to me. During my decade in the Navy, I’d endured crazy hours, like seven-hour midwatches—11:45 pm to 7 am—and still managed to put in a full day’s work. I spent weeks on end chasing submarines, and later faced the sweat, challenges, and grit required to launch multiple companies from the ground up. But this new gig, with two smiling faces looking up at me, was a whole different ballgame.
My biggest challenge was time. There was never enough of it. Exhausted from playing the role of two parents—shuttling the kids to where they needed to be—and juggling the demands of a growing business seemed impossible. I was running on empty most days. I had to learn to prioritize.
My work was my refuge: a place of meaning and adult purpose. As the integrator, I had responsibility for 20 people and their families as well. Work evolved. Quickly. Leaving early for school events, doctor’s appointments, and being a taxi service—mostly for sports—became the norm.
Something had to change. What changed was my mindset. I leaned into my core as a leader, refined my focus, and trusted my people. I empowered them to do more. I had to.
At home and at work I set clear expectations and created a routine that provided consistency. I learned to let go. I gave my people and children space. I held them accountable. There was no time for micromanagement. In this supportive environment, people thrived.
At work, we created a product of meaning and people knew it. That allowed us to attract and retain great people as they excelled and achieved. Best place to work. Greatest place to work. Thirteen industry-leading Pyramid Awards for outstanding service, quality, and creativity. Revenues and profit increased year over year. Two moves to increasingly larger facilities and company growth of 1000% was the result.
Success at work enabled freedom and flexibility at home. My kids have no memory of me working at home or on vacation. The best part of this story is two well-adjusted young men, having had success and happiness in football, lacrosse, track, soccer, and scouts. Both have recently graduated from college and are gainfully employed out of state.
My growth was profound. I had no choice but to change. I zeroed in on the areas that I could impact and let go of most everything else. Stripping down to core leadership skills was life-changing and revealing. The key was empowering the people around me to do the things I could not, to achieve what we thought unrealistic.
My “ah-ha” moment: When you let great people do great work, great things happen. I found out I didn’t need to work so hard to achieve amazing results.
Today, as a Vistage Chair, I’m serving my family and my members from my head and heart, working to make a difference. My experience is deep and my toolbox is full. I am filled with gratitude to be able to share and save heartache by guiding the way for someone else.
I challenge my members to see the world differently. We work as a team to make ourselves better. We share experiences, best practices and “carefrontationally” challenge each member to make better decisions. We lean into managing our attention not just our time. We emphasize people, empowerment, structure, and accountability. We shine “flashlights” on each other to see into our blind spots.
As a seasoned CEO coach and Chair of CEO Peer Advisory Boards in San Diego, my role involves guiding leaders from non-competing industries to effectively address their most pressing challenges. My overarching goal is to empower these leaders to become the best versions of themselves — achieving success not only in their businesses but also in their families and personal lives.
Drawing upon my 20-year tenure as a U.S. Navy officer and over two decades as a business executive, I firmly believe in the profound impact of leadership on an organization. Throughout my career, I have consistently focused on developing leaders and nurturing their growth. My passion lies in championing leadership characterized by integrity, accountability, and honesty.
Recognizing the isolation that often accompanies leadership, my aim is to change that narrative. Within my group, we focus on elevating leaders, delving deep for transformative change, and building a supportive community for navigating both challenges and triumphs.
